Back to Balance Basics..the most important kind of basic.
Before diving into this offering of redirecting our lives into a continual practice of balance, take a moment with me. Coming back to the heartbeat of our life-the present moment- the breath. Pause....Exam your day- have you lived in action or have you submitted to the idle chit chatter that has you stuck in a tailspin? This is neither good nor bad- this is an examination. Set a clear intention for what you desire or what you want to release (this can offer support, direction, and grounding), create a boundary with that lower vibration that says you’re not able to achieve what you want, and proceed forward with really well trained feet that give you the green light to give and receive with this life/your life in that way that you are worthy of. If you are rolling your eyes or shrugging your shoulders at this point at the statement above, it’s most likely good indication you may be craving this. With that being said- Let’s talk about that ongoing topic that some people feel tormented by- BALANCE. Good news- hope is born when fresh perspective arrives.
People often say “oh, you know, just trying to find balance.” You don’t find it, you create it. And even more so, you practice it. We adjust accordingly to our lives as we go along. As humans, we tend to lean top-heavy into one thing or another which sets us up for resentment, self-destruction, inflated ego, regrets, and hopelessness. Let’s zoom in on the word ADJUSTMENT- instead of becoming a slave to the thought of “here we go again, life isn’t working out for me” we can offer ourselves a new outlook of, “Oh, ok. It’s time for an adjustment. I’m going to slow down to see what I need to do to modify.” Now, add in a couple of other key ingredients to the practice of balance: “one day at a time” (sometimes this will be one minute or second at a time), review your day, look at the next 24 hours ahead, have a day planner (not just your iPhone), take a pause before saying “yes or no”- when you say yes to something, is there integrity associated with it- for the betterment of you, the people involved, and the situation? Keep room open for the experiences you’re meant to have (that inner knowing aka the intuition helps with this one), the responsibilities you need to fulfill, and most of all, the down time to process the abundance you’re gifted every single day. The minute balance returns is the minute that we are willing to admit and surrender to the realization that there is an imbalance. Imbalance does not imply “bad.” This is implying an opportunity to reset. We are all constantly growing, evolving, and rearranging- this will require a reset and recharge all along the way.
The first step is awareness- is quality predominant in your life or is quantity? Ever notice how some of that quantity feels extremely unfulfilling and creates a void? Quality allows for what we truly desire, what we truly believe in, how we truly want to give back to ourselves and this world, and also embracing responsibility by balancing it with play time. The next step is a plan of action. When do you take the time to review your life? When do you allow for a pause during your day? Can the text wait so you can feed yourself before you feed others? Then the next step is execution- what support do I need to make adjustments with each day ahead, how can I create motivation surrounding this new exploration of practicing balance, am I willing to check off what needs to get done each day so I can feel a sense of accomplishment, even if it’s just taking out the trash and making the bed? We can not compare our successes. We adjust to the flow of life- that means some days we will have the ability to hard charge it while other days the flow will suggest you slow down and recharge. The execution is found in the intuition. Are you tuning in? Want to know an easy way to obtain the practice of balance? CONTINUE with BABYSTEPS and adjust accordingly! Continue continue continue continue.
Listen to your body- the more we listen and honor, the more we realize we aren’t at war with ourselves or anyone else. The body isn’t your enemy, it is your advocate that is constantly trying to get your attention. This is a huge reason why I felt so disconnected from myself for many years- I chose not to communicate or listen to my body. It would beg and plead with me to nurture it, provide for it, and protect it. Eventually, when complications went to another level, I finally listened. Sometimes it will take that place of desperation to come back into partnership with your body. I started to notice as my physically body healed, I was able to tackle the emotional and mental in a way I had longed for. When one aspects of ourselves is out of wack, the others get knocked off. We aren’t juggling these things on a daily basis- we are practicing and learning. Being willing to switch this narrative will help the dread of balance subside the more it’s practiced.
Now...about setting the bar too high...WHY the hell do we do that to ourselves? This is action leads the pack of self-destruction. That consistent high bar setting leads to burn out FAST. We can’t be useful if we are constantly putting ourselves through the mental wear and tear. It’s exhausting. Lets try on the word “gentle” for a moment. Ahhhh, yes. That’s a much needed exhale right there. Let’s transition into achievable goals. We start with putting two feet on the ground in the morning. What’s the next indicated step after that? We are all going through so much as we do this beautiful and powerful thing called life. Another vital and key ingredient to create the most delicious and rewarding balance is one of those words that is scary to practice, but we all so desperately crave it- boundaries. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and for some spiritually- how does this apply to the balance of your life? Conscious awareness and practice leads to a habitual flow that deserves hydration each and every day. The dry out is the burnout. Let this be a heartfelt reminder that you can lower the bar, you can slow down, you can reevaluate, you can shift gears, you can allow, and you can adjust. Balance is not a thing you can find. It’s a practice that is waiting patiently for you in a moment of mindfulness.
So, how about a plan of attack?...OR how about plan of allowance- allowance to show up for the balance?! Ahhh yes. That feels good. Allowing ourselves to show up rather than to fight. Each time we don’t show up for the balance, we don’t show up for ourselves and that’s when our vision with life gets very blurry. The inner focus adjusts by practicing balance.
In summary, into action, and into balance:
Press the pause button. If you’re confused, you have every right to reevaluate whatever needs your careful attention. Whether it’s 1 hour or 1 day, you get to decide. Careful reflection requires slowing down. The slowing down doesn’t set you back, but speeding up without slowing down will create burnout. If you “don’t have time” this is a great indication that your ready to clear away what is not necessary in your life so you can self-advocate and take the time for YOU. We all need to rearrange and filter from time to time. PS- We can’t give anything away that we don’t have ourselves. When we slow down, we are available for awareness. Are we aware of our actions? Are we aware of what makes us happy? Are we aware of what triggers us? Are we aware of how to support ourselves during times of discomfort? Are we aware of how we set and hold boundaries (boundaries=balance)? Are we aware of how we respond to people when they set their boundaries? Are we aware of how much time we take to ourselves so we can take inventory (of our attitudes, our actions, and our outlook), grow, expand, and thrive? Are we aware of how we speak to ourselves and others on a daily basis? Are we aware of how this impacts us? Being aware can prepare us to take action. If we based our lives off all of our feelings and thoughts, we would be in some interesting places- this is an into action opportunity- awareness prepares us for redirecting to fully charged usefulness.
Plan of action- some of us need extra support. And guess what? There is no shame in that! There’s no one-size-fits-all in this life. We all have different needs. If you need someone to help assist in formulating a plan of action, who would it be? If you needed someone to help implement tools to support balance in your life how would you go about asking them? If you don’t trust anyone, but know that you need someone to guide you in this experience, what action steps do you feel you need to take to reach this particular support system? Are you willing to walk through uncomfortable feelings to grow? This is an upgrade YOU are worthy of. All beings are worthy of support. Do you like to set daily goals, weekly goals, or monthly goals? Do you need to break it down even more and work on an hour to hour basis? What prevents you from allowing yourself to adjust to what works for you? Are you trapped in comparison? This is one of the destroyers of success for many people- we forget we are individuals who have something unique to offer and get lost in what others have. Because of these, we lose sight. You’re safe to explore, grow, celebrate your gifts- and having support while doing that is a great sign of strength. You’re WORTHY of that.
Execution- execution is applying all that you have prepared with forward motion. Let it messy, fumble, let it be off- this is not about perfect...this is about COMMITMENT. Recommitting each day to adjust however you need to so that you can practice balance in your life. Execution is done rain or shine. We take action while we feel the emotions, while we think the thoughts, and allow for some down time to give and receive love from ourselves for the hard work we have put forth into our lives.
Daily adjustment- upon awakening, we have a look at our day ahead (written day planner or phone calendar will help relieve whatever you’re trying to save in your brain- let’s free some space up in there)- you may find that you have to play a little schedule Tetris. This will challenge certain pending wounds that could be leaking into your every day life that create road blocks to living that full life you desire. Are you willing to explore the people pleasing? Are you willing to explore the current self-sabotage behavior? Are you willing to look at your judgment towards others? Are you willing to look at why you’re so quick to blame? How is all of this useful and productive when it comes to balance in your life? Is there opportunity to heal so that you can focus more on taking care of yourself than numbing out with old beliefs that didn’t belong there in the first place? What is important to you? Is everything you’re currently doing TRULY what you want and feel is your truth? Is it time to let go of some people, old ideas, self-limiting beliefs, places, and things so that you can make room for expansion?
Let’s give ourselves permission to stop setting the bar so damn high! Baby steps lead to big life goals. I think about the most successful people that you know and what it took for them to get where they are at. Success is not about money- success is about character, integrity, structure, focus, sacrifice, fun, connection, willingness, open-mindedness, passion, knowing your worth, etc. YOU get to define what success means to you. I would encourage you to schedule a time to grab dinner or coffee with one of them (people you admire who you feel are successful) and ask them how they did it. Everyone has their story. And it started with a single step, not giving up, commitment, and dedication. Ask yourself this- “When I set the bar high, did I learn this from somewhere? Is it helping me on my journey? Do I feel exhausted doing this? Is there a part of me that’s afraid of taking small steps? Is my ego out of balance here?” Spot check in those moments of reflection and Pause Points (check points throughout your day) and listen to the body- where am I mentally, emotionally, and physically? What is the source of my disconnect? Am I being too hard on myself? What do I need in this moment? Mantra: I am accountable for my actions, and worthy of the journey. I understand the work I need to do and I celebrate my accomplishments.
We can restart our day at anytime- how cool is that? Each time we restart, we get to evaluate what we need, what is necessary, what comes next, how far we’ve come, and celebrate that we have alternative ways to come back to balance each and every day. Giving ourselves permission is one of the greatest gifts we could experience. When we realize the universe is on its own time, has its own set of outcomes, and that we are allowed to adjust accordingly as we go along in life, bliss starts to return. We realize we don’t have to apply unnecessary pressure that was holding us back to begin with, we realize we aren't living to compare- we are living for a much greater purpose we can reconnect to when we take care of ourselves, and we realize that the reset button is available and accessible to us at any moment throughout the day. The minute we realize there is a solution for obtaining balance, bliss ignites and freedom arrives. You’re allowed to have fun with it, not feel burdened by it, and absolutely are capable of trying a new way to view balance- it’s a practice not a destination.